Gingrich Library: Your Success Is Why We're Here!
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FROSH CROWNED KING OF MAY IN GALA EVENT Grand Coronation Accompanied By Buckets Of Mud And Water -- Throne A Barrel Out thru the silent stillness of the star-dimmed moon-lit night rang the imperious cry, "All Freshman out in Scotchmen's full-dress suits!" (meaning pajamas). With many a sigh and undeniable yawn the grand procession slowly assembled and marched majestically behind the campus flivers. Excitement ran high,for the long awaited gala time had come--the coronation of the May King! After a brief excursion around the town the formerly prepared spot was reached; on the Mohn Hall campus could be seen the glittering May Pole and when all was ready a brilliant white flare of light signaled the commencement of the preliminaries. Various talented victims of the class of '30 gave exhibitions of their unquestionable skill in fancy dances. But because of complaints to the management, that the flickering headlites of the campus flivers were inadequate the rest of the performance was transferred to a position nearer the watching galleries. Because of the limited amount of space a mere mention of the events needs necessarily to suffice. The wrestling and tumbling act was much appreciated by the audience, as was also the Spanish poem by Issy Goldstein. The other events were bore by the gracious spectators as something which must be gone thru for the ultimate good of all. Now comes the great occasion! In the absence of the duly elected (by popular opinion) candidate who passed the nite at the home of his fairy grandmother, two others were speedily agreed upon. It was decided best to have the fortunate two fight a duel to determine who should have the coveted position. After combating furiously for several minutes (each candidate being urged on by his backers) the weaker succumbed and the mighty king arose, wiped the blood and mud from his face--and smiled! He quickly climbed into the throne and blind-folded, because of he sacredness of the transaction about to precipitate themselves upon him, stood up triumphantly to receive his crown. And almost before the dodging crowd could scurry to safety he had been crowned several times. Such was the most glorious event of the fiscal year! Never can we hope to see it outdone in point of beauty,variety, splendor, excitement, gayety, happiness, humor, etc., etc., for never can a class such as '30 ever hope to exist again! (at least we hope such a thing is impossible.)
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